It’s been a good week – I think. Time is just flying by now as I look back at it. Sometimes the days themselves go slowly, but then when I realize what day it is I’m like “Woah! Wait, where did the week go?” I’ve been spending some time every few days journaling on my own. Not that it’s a big secret, but I’m hoping that by actually writing in my journal while I sit in the Cruiser and wait for people or sit between my classes, that I will be more prepared for coming back to the States. I’ve been reading some articles on re-entry as well. I’m trying to keep my expectations as low as possible – even maybe to a point that’s not too healthy of expecting people to be disappointing when I get back – so that I don’t suffer disillusionment with people when I come home. The one thing I know I won’t be disappointed by is my mattress!!! Sleeping on a Zambian piece of foam for almost 11 months has done nothing good for my back. I’m pretty sure I undid all the help Dr. Ted did when he tried to fix my back. Guess it’ll be back to the chiropractor for this girl when I get back to the States. I’m kind of freaked out already about stores in the States. I really don’t know how I’m going to be able to handle the dollar store – let alone a grocery store or Wal-Mart. The overwhelming choices and how people think they “need” all the things stores sells just really upsets me now. I get excited when we have fruit that isn’t squishy or soft in the wrong spots or doesn’t have wormholes! And that’s not to even mention the excitement of when they have chocolate or actual ice cream in stock! I also think I will be cooking a lot more when I get home. I think things just taste better when you make it from scratch. I no longer just want to drop by Sheetz or Wawa for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I’d rather make the fries and sandwiches myself – even the bread. J Not everything has turned out like I thought it would, but the dogs have still loved it even if I think it’s inedible!
I’m ready to come home – like I’ve already started to want to take everything off my walls and figure out how much weight I have in my things so I can know how many curios I can bring back. But I’ve stopped because I know it wouldn’t be good for me to sit around an empty room for 3 weeks. I know I’m going to miss this place terribly though when I do get back. I’m trying to come up with a handful or a dozen of three-minute stories so when I do come home I don’t have to repeat the same story over and over. I have a lot of writing to do before I leave - those stories and goodbye letters to people here and to reflect/evaluate my time here. I have grown so much during my time here and know that I will never see things the same again for better or for worse. I don’t take simple things like electricity and water for granted anymore. I think I’m going to want to walk everywhere I can instead of just driving down the street to the corner store. I’m going to want hours of uninterrupted time to just read and journal where there are no other sounds but the chirping of chickens and crickets and the random dog barking.
I have loved teaching here – to see the eagerness of students and as I teach seeing them become willing to open up about their lives. It’s disheartening to see so many adults here unmotivated, but then I have to look at their culture here and school system and it makes more sense. I have learned the truth in the statement that we are a product of the world we live in. The culture here teaches people how to behave as they become adults – what the accepted cultural norm. For better or for worse we are all affected by the world we live in. Christ calls us to be different than the world. I’m still figuring out what exactly that means. Here in Zambia it has meant to rise about the cultural norm of being lazy or accepting to be poor – to continue to be ambitious even when the social systems here do not motivate people to rise above their situation. The youths have this energy and life about them, but for most adults the system has pushed them down or held them back for so long that they begin to give up hope that working hard or trying to aspire to something will ever pan out. I pray that this next generation of youths here in Zambia will not lose their passion for life and will continue to shine the light Christ has put in each of them. One of the biggest things I’ve learned being here is the importance of self-motivation – not relying on other people to keep me in line or on task – setting goals and agendas for myself and then meeting them – of feeling good about what I do simply because God is happy with it and not having it be dependent on what other people around me feel about how I spend my time or what I do in a day. It’s been very stretching at times, but I know it is an invaluable lesson that I know God will use over and over again throughout the rest of my life.
I think my biggest struggle right now is this lack of drive that I feel. Every since I can remember I have felt a strong drive in a specific direction. When I was younger it was to be the best in school. Through high school it was to learn how to be a good Christian, to earn my own money working a part-time job, to still be the best in school, and to be the best goalkeeper in soccer. As I approached college it was to get into the best school for youth ministry and to play soccer. Throughout college it was to be the best in school and to work enough to pay my bills and save money. As I got into my job at COS it was to be the best student ministry intern and then associate. As I came to Zambia it was to be the best teacher/friend/counselor/aunt to the people God open doors to. Now as I come to the end of my time here in Zambia I don’t feel like I have a specific drive. It’s not that I feel unmotivated to do anything, but rather I don’t know what that one “thing” is I’m suppose to be motivated to do. I know I have a wedding to plan when I get back and that I will help Paul with the business, but I don’t know that I feel that drive to something. And maybe that’s okay, but it just feels strange to me. I worry that I’m going to miss something God wants me to do. I don’t know. I’m probably overanalyzing it, but that’s what I’m struggling with right now.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Finally Catching Up: End of Nov 2009 to Beginning of Mar 2010
There are times I feel more and more like my mother. I love my Momma – seriously she’s the best. But there are things we use to make fun of her for that I know completely understand. I always set out to keep this blog updated, but then life happens and wow! Now it’s January and the last update I wrote about life here in Zambia was the middle/end of November. So find your favorite chair, sit back with some coffee or hot chocolate or tea, get comfy, and enjoy!
The end of November/beginning of December was a whirlwind! For Thanksgiving we (the Murphys and I) hosted a bunch of people. Our down the road neighbors Amy & Mary Lou from Britain came (yes we had British people at our Thanksgiving celebration. They ended up loving it and were a great addition to our party), Jo Anne (who works with Mike & Linda out at Mapampi), Jako, Amber, and Jenny (all three who are building another orphanage called Mission of Love), Mutali and her sister Queen (both who’ve adopted Rob as their dad since their Dad passed away a few years ago), all 7 of the Murphys of course, Lea (our housekeeper), and our two guards for the evening. Needless to say, it was a packed house. The day before Thanksgiving we did not have power pretty much all day. That made us all nervous as we needed to cook pretty much all day Thursday to have food for everyone. Everyone was brining food, but we were taking care of the meat. Our neighbors, the Moonos, coincidently had a turkey. However, the girls had named her Linda and they were not too happy to find out that Christa wanted to purchase Linda from the Moonos and cook her for Thanksgiving. What’s Thanksgiving without turkey though? Christa did end up getting the turkey and the girls all seemed to recover from the initial shock of eating Linda. Isaiah of course had no problem. In fact when our neighbors brought the turkey over Isaiah disappeared inside and returned with a butter knife. He handed it to me and was like here Abbie. He thought I was just going to cut the turkey’s head off right there in the middle of our courtyard with a butter knife. Ha! He’s precious and no Rob did not let him watch the next day when they actually killed the turkey – things like that tend to stick in boy’s minds and Rob didn’t want Isaiah fixated on killing things.
Praise the Lord that we ended up having power all day on Thursday – that is until just about when we were going to sit down to eat dinner. Then Zesco shut off for three hours. It made for a hot night with everyone in the house, but at least all the food was cooked. We used every plate, cup, and utensil in the house plus Jo Anne brought some of hers! Since Zesco was out that meant we didn’t have any water either since our water pump obviously needs power to work. So we ended up with a mountain pile of dishes. It was a great time of fellowship with everyone though and made it a little easier to be away from home. I also got to Skype with not only my family, but Jenny’s as well! I let her use my computer to Skype her family since she doesn’t get to Skype them often obviously living way out in the bush and running off solar power. So I got to meet all of her family and she got to meet mine! J It’s so nice to have another single female here around my age that I can talk and share life with. She’s much more courageous than me though – she’s here in Zambia indefinitely now! I know God’s going to do amazing things through her.
Anyways, moving on… Here the school system has students go to school for three months, break for one month, go to school for three months, etc. So they break around the beginning of December. They also start a new grade level in January and graduate in December. They find it funny that we, in America, graduate in June and start in September. J Anyway, December 1st ended up being the last time everyone could meet together so I did a joint last session for 11A and 11B. They really liked the sweets I brought for my birthday so I told them I would bring food so we could have a party to celebrate finishing the course. Like clockwork the Cruiser broke down so it put a little bit of a kink in my plan. I had wanted to take them coke, chicken, brownies, and fudge, but if I had to go on my bike I didn’t know how I was going to transport everything! I also had made each girl a heart out of cardstock and wrote part of I Cor 7:34, “Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” I want them to know just what an amazing gift each of them are in themselves – not because of some boy they are going with – but simply because God created them each as masterpieces in HIS image! Thankfully some of the girls from Oklahoma that are here for a year were in town so they picked me and my bike up on the way out so I would only have to bike home. Biking home I could manage because that I’d only have the empty containers. J
It was an awesome last session with the girls. They seem to really have learned and even more importantly applied the purity concepts to their lives. We had a great time discussing how to date and court in ways that please God. I had been asking them to consider if any of them would like to teach with me the next term. Like everything else I do here I want this purity teaching to be reproducible…that the girls which understand and believe in the material would then teach it to other girls so that more and more may experience the freedom and love that God designed for each of us. I was hoping for at least a couple of them to want to teach with me. They blew me away! Out of the 35 girls I had 15 of them wrote their names and phone numbers down as they all wanted to help me teach. I felt overwhelmed – in a good way. I could see some of what I had been teaching them making a difference in them as they’d furiously scribble down different things I said, but I had really didn’t know the extent to which the class had meant to them. There was just a sense of freedom about these girls – that they can be different – that they can tell boys no – that they know the priceless value that God sees in each of them. And I know that it isn’t because I’m some great teacher or that I had come up with awesome concepts. It’s nothing of my doing. It is completely God. Who am I to teach on these things, which even I didn’t do growing up? Who am I to tell these girls to wait? No, it’s not because I am some good person with good ideas, but rather it is God choosing to use a broken vessel such as myself in ways that I could not even fathom. Certainly God is good! Scratch that – God is AWESOME! I pray for these girls that they will continue to walk in freedom and purity – that Satan would ensnare them again in the traps of this world and human love, but that they would remember God set them free and that the love He has planned for each of them blows anything Satan can come up with out of the water! Now I have no idea how I’m going to have all these girls help me teach next term, but I know God will help me figure out a way. I have a feeling that some just want to know they can still hang out with me and I would love that so much… so next term I’ll start by meeting with these girls to figure out who really wants to help teach and who wants to just make sure I’ll still be their friend. I’m nervous for their month at home, but I know that God is bigger, stronger, and better than I am and He is with them wherever they go. When they get back I hope I will be able to find time to hang out with them all. It’s just hard being a 30-40 minute bike ride away and with the rainy season setting in biking becomes just that much more of an adventure! I could walk, but I’m sure Paul and my Dad would not really be fond of that idea. We’ll have to see how God works when the girls come back in January.
Moving on to December… man I am way, way far behind on blogging. I’m sorry everyone! You’ll understand why shortly – not that I’m trying to make excuses… but yea.
Okay, in the beginning of December there was the National Youth Leadership Convention in Lusaka. After spending the week in Choma for the National Youth Convention, the national leadership for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Church youth asked me to come to the youth leadership convention in December. Yes, they were planning ahead! So I graciously agreed. Now, remember the youth ministry here is considered age 12 to about age 35!!! Can you imagine? I thought having 7th and 8th grade in one ministry was hard some days! Never again! So yes, my Sunday school and Bible study teachings here in Kalomo is for an audience of boys and girls from age 12 to 35. Ha! Anyway, I hadn’t heard much from the national office so I started to email and call Given Muleya (he’s the National Director for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Youth). We got everything sorted out and they asked me to teach on mobilizing youth for evangelism. I was pretty stoked as being leaders among the youth one of the most important things is to learn the whys and how to-s of evangelism.
I started to talk with the chairman of our local church’s youth about who was going from our church. We put the invitation out to our youth and had about twenty or so want to go. Then, they realized that Mike Jones was in America and since he always provided transportation they had no idea how they were going to get to Lusaka. It’s 70,000 Kwacha (about $15) to take the 5 hr bus ride one way to Lusaka and the entry fee for the conference was 50,000 Kwacha (about $11). Most of the youth said they could come up with the 50,000, but adding another 140,000 on top of that for round trip transportation would just be too much. After consulting my budget I realized I had a lot of travel support money that I was not going to use during my time here. After talking it over with several people we made the decision that, to invest in the students who have shown leadership potential by helping them travel to the convention in Lusaka would be a worthwhile use of my travel money. The way we presented it to the youth was that if I helped them with transport then they had to attend every session. If they missed a session without a good reason they would owe me 140,000 Kwacha… quite the incentive not to miss! J The other deal was that they had to have their money into me on the Sunday before the convention, which started on Tuesday, December 8th. I was hoping to teach them the importance of organization, keeping good records, and planning ahead. The result was awesome! We took 20 youth to Lusaka for the week while the total attendance for the convention was 60. Yes, we were 1/3 of the total attendees. It made a great statement to the national leaders and even more so when our youths attended every session. I was so proud of our youths and saw that they really got a lot from all the different sessions. I am hoping that they will apply all that they learned to not only their church activities, but in every area of their lives.
They did a couple of different things at the convention, which I really liked. They were much more organized than in Choma, so much so that they were able to make up certificates for every youth who attended the convention while we were still there! Zambians LOVE certificates and if you look at my pictures on Facebook you’ll see just how excited they were to get a certificate. When they go for college or a job they will take EVERY certificate they’ve ever gotten with them to show that they have already done good things and have great potential as a student or employee. It’s funny how small things like a certificate in our eyes is such a big deal to them here.
The second thing they did was to break the group up into small groups to discuss and apply what was being taught to a hypothetical situation. Now, this was a little rough at first and because there wasn’t clear communication from the beginning, the groups started off rocky. However, by the end of the week the groups really grasped what they were suppose to be doing and I caught a sense of ownership amongst the majority of the youths attending. What they were being taught as a big group in theoretical terms they were able to immediately afterwards apply to their hypothetical situations amongst their small groups. They were actually working through the steps and problems and possibilities instead of just sitting and listening to someone else explain how it should be done. I was so excited for the youths. To see them actually working through it on their own instead of just listening and writing what someone else was telling them – well it was awesome! They came up with their own questions and challenged each other to all participate. I feel like they got so much more out of the week than if they had been sitting and writing notes the teacher was telling them to write down. It is encouraging to me that the youth ministry is critically thinking through how to best train this next generation and that they are content with just leaving it the way it’s always been.
It’s scary to make change here or to even make decisions for that matter because here if a decision you make doesn’t work out well it’s not just considered embarrassing to yourself. Here, it also means that you have brought shame to your family and tribe as well! That’s a lot of pressure to make decisions that work out right every time. One of the ways I’ve learned the most is when something I’ve planned or decided does not work out… we learn from the good and the bad. Here, Zambians are so scared of the bad that they don’t want to be the one to make the decision and I understand. I hope that through seeing my decisions turn out not always so good that they will have the courage to make decisions themselves as they have seen how God works through even the really bad decisions to bring Him glory if we let Him.
When it came time for me to speak on evangelism all the youths were attentive. Now it could be because I’m a white girl from America or (more likely) because I brought cookies, which they call biscuits, for those who answered questions. Cookies are always a big hit – no matter what country you’re in and I’d probably guess no matter what age your audience is either! J I did not want to give them a step by step of how to evangelize because I’m not Zambian. Things are different in their culture and as much as I have learned about their culture, I know there is so much more I need to learn as well as some cultural things that I just won’t understand. I decided to focus my talk on why we are called to evangelize and which way I feel is most effective/Biblical. I love discipleship because Jesus talked about it so much and lived it with disciples (Hello! Disciple! Any clearer explanation needed really??) and because of my personal experiences being a disciple and a discipler. The time flew by and I know that it is only because God was with me and speaking through me. I encouraged the youths to see the time as more of a discussion so if they had questions or ideas to feel free to share them so that we might all learn and grow together. One of my favorite contributions came from a guy who pointed out to us that the word GOSPEL is in John 3:16. I loved it! I had never seen it before. It’s there though! “For God so love the world that He gave His one and Only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not Perish, but have Eternal Life.” (John 3:16 NIV) The students were encouraged to have someone share with them why it is important to evangelize and why evangelism is not just getting them to say they believe in Jesus, but that the second half of evangelism – of training them as a disciple, to walk in God in every area of his/her life, everyday – is just as important. Jesus last command is to be our first concern. He did not say to go and make converts. He said to go and make DISCIPLES!
It was an encouraging, but draining week. I learned a lot from seeing the youths interact in small groups and was excited about the potential I saw in so many to be great leaders in the church! I pray that they each do not wait until they are “adults” to start being leaders in the church because God certainly has some AMAZING plans for them now if they will give it all to Him who gives each of us true life.
One last story for the week is about a girl named Kasamba. On Saturday night we were having our final evening service. One of our girls from Kalomo was not there and no one seemed to know where she had gone off to. I was worried as she is quite attractive and very independent. She has amazing potential, but Satan definitely knows this and pulls hard on her life. Anyway, she showed back up and she had gone to the store to run errands with the director and national leaders. I was glad she was fine, but was frustrated that she had not told me where she was going to. She apologized and went inside while I wrapped up a conversation with another youth outside as the service had already started. Apparently she felt pretty bad about making me worried and came back out to apologize. That’s when I saw Kasamba talking with another guy who was attending the conference. She looked upset and I kept my eye on them to make sure he was not the one making her upset or uncomfortable. Well, the guy ended up inviting us over to pray with him for Kasamba. As he finished praying the girl from Kalomo who’d come out to apologize to me told me I needed to take Kasamba and talk with her and get her to open up. I had already felt this prompting by the Holy Spirit, but was glad that my girl had also seen the need and felt that I should be the one to talk to Kasamba since I had been helping the girl from Kalomo these past 6 months already. I asked Kasamba if we could go talk and she agreed. She couldn’t look me in the eye and wouldn’t really answer any question I asked her about what was going on. I asked her to look at me and told her I knew what she was going through – I could see myself when I was 19, 20, 21 in her eyes. I knew she was struggling with the same things that I had battled through. I briefly shared my story and as I did she started to just break down. I know it was God that gave me the right words to share my story in the way that it came out and then she was finally able to open up – to share about her life, her behaviors, and her heart. So much pain bottled up for so long, hidden from so many people finally started to spill out. We spent the entire evening service talking and making a plan for how she wanted to change her life moving forward from this night on. I would love you all to pray for Kasamba. It is not an easy road ahead and I fear that without strong Christian girl friends around that she will have a hard time sticking to this change at first. I know that she desperately wants it and that she hates her sin bad enough to fight for her life to be different. I know God is way more powerful than Satan will ever be and that He loves her beyond her wildest dreams. Please pray that she will find safety and strength in Him – that she will look to Christ for that unconditional love she craves. I wish I could’ve brought her back to Kalomo with me and given her a safe place to start over, but I’m just not able to. I am trusting that God will protect her and guide her though to the right people in Lusaka.
Coming home from the conference my body seemed to just quit on me. I was exhausted. I worked on curriculum writing for the upcoming Jan-Mar school term as well as Bible Study sessions and Sunday School series, but other than that slept a lot. After about a week I also started to get wicked bad headaches – pretty much migraine level stuff. This shut me down pretty much until the end of January. It was a long month and a half. I couldn’t get out of bed without feel woozy. I didn’t have an appetite. I could only look at the computer for maybe 30 minutes before my headache would be raging again, so my curriculum writing was very very slow in developing. This is how I got so far behind in this blog and everything else. The little things still got done, but all the big projects kept having to be put off because I literally could not do them with the crazy headaches I was experiencing. I was pretty much bedridden from the middle of December until February. I thought it was maybe stress or muscle tension in my back or allergies – and those might contribute to them somewhat, but as I spent time away from the house my headache would lessen in intensity most times. As I think back on it I did feel a difference at the house. I thought maybe it was just my own frustrations or loneliness, but we have found out that people living nearby practice witchcraft. I know for certain that the spiritual warfare going on has absolutely contributed to my headaches. It’s hard even here in Zambia sometimes to think about it and believe it’s deep effects – even after seeing demon-possessed people. I know it’s real, but somehow I got to feeling like it couldn’t affect me. Hello, Abbie! I wanted so much to believe it was something within my own control. So after slowly waking up to the blatant fact that it was definitely at least partly spiritual warfare, I have had more good days than bad days as it has changed the way I pray and what I pray about. I try not to let Satan scare me over the topic or to feel inadequate as that’s exactly what Satan wants. I’ve really just focused on trusting in Christ to hold me safely in His arms of love, protection, and grace – to allow Him to be the one to touch me and take away the pain in my head so that I can do what He’s called me to do here in Zambia. The hardest thing is to not let me beat myself up over taking so long to realize it was Satan attacking me because of the work I’m doing for Christ here in Zambia. It’s been good to grow and learn more – definitely harder than learning from other people’s lives.
In the midst of this time – January 20th to be exact – I got robbed!!! The Murphys were in Zimbabwe on holiday so I had the house to myself. I was excited because I was going to finally be able to paint the girls and Isaiah’s rooms. The color on the walls when we moved in was this dingy yellow color that got dirty very easily. I painted the girls room a bright pink and Isaiah got a somewhat deep blue. Both turned out great. Anyway, back to being robbed… (I took the following from my email instead of writing it all over again)
“This afternoon I got robbed here at our house. I am painting the kids rooms while the Murphy family is in Zimbabwe for a week. I came out to wash my hands and saw two boys ducking below our kitchen window. I thought they wanted something like school fees, but as I said hello they started to run... The one boy had my backpack on and the other was carrying a big zambian bag we use when we go grocery shopping and our cooking oil! I glanced at the table and realized my computer and wallet were GONE! I chased after them but was in bare feet and when I got to our back exit out of our yard I had no idea which way they went so I came back in and called the Jones who got the police and came right over. The followed some leads that our one neighbor up the road gave them... He said he'd seen them running through his field the way towards Namwianga. So the police went to all their contacts and put the word out to be looking for a black laptop with a white apple logo on the top of it. They didn't take the charger and it's password locked so they can't even get into it at all. They looked like school age boys... maybe grade 8 or 9 or 10. So basically everyone in Kalomo and Namwianga has been told that we know and are looking. Our friend and security guard supervisor, Azzie, came over as he knows how to track people by shoe prints. He went out the back way and returned a couple minutes later with my wallet - WITH all the identification papers in it - praise God! But my computer and backpack they can't find. I think I found the boys shortly after they had got here because they only got some sugar and the cooking oil... they could have made off with so much more. They also left an umbrella and one of them left their shoes. So the police collected those to see if anyone shoes up to claim them. All the computer places around have been notified so they'll be on the lookout for anyone bringing in a computer fitting the description. I'm just thankful to have my papers back. It's kind of scary though cuz I could've been really hurt if they'd decided to attack me. And if I hadn't come out to wash my hands when I did they could've cleaned out the entire side of the house. So yea... one of my friends is staying with me here at the house for the night and our two night guards are aware of the situation. I'm just really frustrated about the computer.. I know it's just a thing, but it has all my work since I've been here on it and pictures and everything.. most my pictures are on facebook and curriculum printed, but there are things on there that I can't recover if the computer's not found. But any and all prayers would be extremely appreciated.”
Then on Friday the police called me in the morning and asked me to come down to the station cuz they had one of the boys and he was going to show us where they had taken everything they had stolen. Again this is from my email that I sent out the day everything was found: “This morning the police took him with me and Mike Jones in Mike Jones' truck to the compound where he stays. Long story short, two hours and many, many houses later, the police had apprehended the boy's mother, wife, and the wife of one of the other boys. (Yes they marry very young here sometimes.) They found that these boys have been stealing from many people over a long period of time. Praise the Lord that they found my backpack and my computer!!! And it still works!!!! They also found a few of the other small things, but the food items are obviously gone. I had not realized it, but they also stole my camera, which was on the boy when they apprehended him last night. That is how they realized he was one of the ones that robbed me. They made him come to our house and point to where everything had been that they stole. As he pointed they had me take pictures of him. Then we printed out those pictures along with the 90 or so pictures of the things they'd stolen from me and other people. So they have ample evidence when they go to court! Apparently they have been searching for these boys for awhile as they have been stealing here and maybe even in Livingstone for some time now. Thank you for all your prayers. I would ask you would pray that the police will be able to catch the other two boys and that all of them and their families will come to know Jesus as their personal Savior.”
That was the most eventful thing in the course of January pretty much. I taught Bible Study and Sunday School for youths every week, but other than that spent most of my time in bed. As February rolled around I started to feel better… or maybe it was just that my body couldn’t take much more of bed rest!
Either way I started to be able to get back more into the swing of things. I started teaching at Namwianga secondary school with the new grade 11 girls. Rob started teaching the grade 11 guys the curriculum I wrote. I love teaching and hope I have opportunities to teach this curriculum to girls and guys back in the States because I do believe it’s so important that they hear the truth and learn how to fight for their purity. I’m excited to be coming home in April, but I feel weird. This is the first time since I was 12 that I have no idea how to answer the question “what do you want to do in life?” …I mean I know I’m coming home to family, friends, and in September I’ll marry Paul, but as far as a job, friends, and other life stuff like that I just have no idea what it is I’m suppose to do. I can babysit again or get a retail job or work for Paul… but I just have this fear like it’s not going to be fulfilling… I’m probably just overanalyzing it and I know I need to just trust God and that He’ll reveal His perfect plan in his timing. It’s just hard.
From February 10th to the 17th I went to live in the bush with Jenny, Jako, Amber, and baby Jakob. Jako and Amber are a married couple who built an orphanage called Mission of Love Orphanage way out in the bush. Jenny came last year for a few months, fell in love with Zambia and Mission of Love, and moved out here permanently. Jenny and I have been getting to be great friends mainly through a talk book… yes like what all girls did in middle school and high school… where you have one notebook that you pass back and forth so teachers can’t tell you’re passing notes instead of paying attention in class. J Since Jenny’s time in town is very limited because they only come to town to get supplies – we started a talk book. It’s been awesome to have another single female around my age who is also living with a married couple with kids (or a new baby in Jako and Amber’s case) to talk with. Anyway, I haven’t taken a vacation in my entire time here in Africa and I wanted Jenny to come with me. Jako’s deal was that I had to come out to the bush to help them for a bit before he’d let Jenny go on vacation with me. So I cleared my schedule – aka handed all my teaching responsibilities off to Rob along with outlines, notes, rosters, and books – and headed out to the bush for a week. I loved it out there! It was so peaceful and I felt like an equal part of their team/family out there from the first day onwards. Jenny and I painted doorframes, window sills, window frames (inside and out), burglar bars, and half of the floor. We stopped painting the floor because the cement needs to apparently go through a dry season before you paint. Otherwise, as we learned, the paint will just peal up no matter how long you wait to walk on it. L It took us from Thursday until Tuesday to paint everything, but it was fun because Jenny and I had each other to talk to!
I also got to help make dinners, make the donkey (blue drum filled with water that you make hot by building a fire under it), help take care of baby Jakob, and see the orphanage open to their first 8 kids. It was an incredible week. I loved being such a help to them and learning how they run things out in the bush. They are all amazing people and I pray that I will be able to stay close with them after I come back to the States. They are incredibly patient and walk daily in following what God has called them to do. I am so thankful that God brought Jenny into my life. We haven’t gotten to see each other a lot, but just knowing that I will see her every other week or so has been such a blessing I think for both of us! I didn’t think I’d find a best friend out here in Zambia… especially not one also from America. God’s funny like that though! J
So the following week (the 20th to 26th) Jenny and I actually got to go on vacation to Botswana! We booked at the Chobe Safari Lodge, which is just right outside the Chobe National Park in Botswana where they say the biggest number of elephants exist! We got transport from Livingstone to the border, got on a speed boat to cross the river, and then a safari vehicle drove us to the lodge. It was AMAZING! Absolutely beautiful and peaceful. It’s low season so there were only a few other people around – mainly elderly Europeans! Jenny and I definitely stuck out. We were almost in culture shock from pretty much coming out of the bush to going to a luxury lodge! Jenny and I both fell in love with our beds and pillows – imagine sleeping on the ground or a foam mattress for 10 months and then laying on a REAL bed WITH a box spring! Incredible – absolutely incredible! We had a bathtub AND shower and our own balcony. I didn’t realize until I went on vacation how much I needed to just get away and relax. We were in bed by 9:30 almost every night I think. We went on a morning safari drive where we saw all kinds of birds, monkeys, buffalo, antelope, water bucks, kudos, giraffes, crocodiles, hippos, jackals, elephants, and even 3 lions! It was awesome, but definitely required a nap after getting back to the lodge as it was the early, early morning safari drive. We also had an afternoon boat cruise where we saw hundreds of hippos and elephants! Seriously, I lost count of how many we saw. On our boat cruise we also saw water monitor lizards, crocodiles, and an insane number of birds! The guides apparently have to study all the animals in Botswana, take an exam, and pass with an 80% or better before they are allowed to be a guide! They were incredibly knowledgeable about all kinds of animals and plants along our safaris! We also took a day to get massages and pedicures. It was so needed and definitely worthwhile. We ate about one meal a day at the lodge and decided we could find cheaper food that we were more use to down the road 2 minutes at the local grocery store! Jenny and I were both amazed at the selection of different kinds of food and even liquid fabric softener that they had! We probably seemed really silly to the local Botswana people doing their normal shopping as we ooh and aah-ed over the cream cheese, sour cream, choices of cereal, fresh milk, chip selection, pasta choices, and everything else they had! We basically had a picnic every day in our room! It was awesome and definitely saved us money over going to the buffet deal they had for every meal. I was so thankful for a week to just relax and to hang out with Jenny. She has been an amazing support and sounding board when I have needed just another person’s advice or simply someone to tell me I’m not going crazy. She has said I’ve been the same for her, which I have loved doing.
I came back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle my last month here in Zambia. I’m kind of nervous that I’ll forget something or not do something I should, but I know God has it all in control. If I just continue to lean on Him and look to Him for guidance I know I’ll do all He has planned for my time here. It’s getting harder and harder seeing the babies at Namwianga though. They’re gotten so big from when we first got here in May. I wish I could bring them all, especially Sam, home with me.
It’s going to be hard to say goodbye – not just to them, but to everyone. I preached my last main message at church this past Sunday. We’ve started a new series entitled Being Transformed by Jesus Christ. I focused my message on transformation of the heart. I think it went well and several people have said that it was very moving to them. I guess most of them didn’t know I was leaving in April so they were surprised when I told them I was leaving them soon. It was hard to tell them, but I don’t want them to be shocked when I do leave and I definitely don’t want them to think I’m leaving because I don’t want to be here. We’ll see what God does in the future. I’d love to come back, but there are a lot of things that need to be figured out before that will happen. I know Paul liked his time here too and feels his work here isn’t finished yet, so at least I have that going for me that he wants to come back too. I pray that this month I will really just finish strong in my programs and relationships that I have established and built up during the past year. I know that I am a very different woman because of my time here and I am excited (and nervous/anxious sort of at the same time) to see how God is going to use me once I come back to the States.
The end of November/beginning of December was a whirlwind! For Thanksgiving we (the Murphys and I) hosted a bunch of people. Our down the road neighbors Amy & Mary Lou from Britain came (yes we had British people at our Thanksgiving celebration. They ended up loving it and were a great addition to our party), Jo Anne (who works with Mike & Linda out at Mapampi), Jako, Amber, and Jenny (all three who are building another orphanage called Mission of Love), Mutali and her sister Queen (both who’ve adopted Rob as their dad since their Dad passed away a few years ago), all 7 of the Murphys of course, Lea (our housekeeper), and our two guards for the evening. Needless to say, it was a packed house. The day before Thanksgiving we did not have power pretty much all day. That made us all nervous as we needed to cook pretty much all day Thursday to have food for everyone. Everyone was brining food, but we were taking care of the meat. Our neighbors, the Moonos, coincidently had a turkey. However, the girls had named her Linda and they were not too happy to find out that Christa wanted to purchase Linda from the Moonos and cook her for Thanksgiving. What’s Thanksgiving without turkey though? Christa did end up getting the turkey and the girls all seemed to recover from the initial shock of eating Linda. Isaiah of course had no problem. In fact when our neighbors brought the turkey over Isaiah disappeared inside and returned with a butter knife. He handed it to me and was like here Abbie. He thought I was just going to cut the turkey’s head off right there in the middle of our courtyard with a butter knife. Ha! He’s precious and no Rob did not let him watch the next day when they actually killed the turkey – things like that tend to stick in boy’s minds and Rob didn’t want Isaiah fixated on killing things.
Praise the Lord that we ended up having power all day on Thursday – that is until just about when we were going to sit down to eat dinner. Then Zesco shut off for three hours. It made for a hot night with everyone in the house, but at least all the food was cooked. We used every plate, cup, and utensil in the house plus Jo Anne brought some of hers! Since Zesco was out that meant we didn’t have any water either since our water pump obviously needs power to work. So we ended up with a mountain pile of dishes. It was a great time of fellowship with everyone though and made it a little easier to be away from home. I also got to Skype with not only my family, but Jenny’s as well! I let her use my computer to Skype her family since she doesn’t get to Skype them often obviously living way out in the bush and running off solar power. So I got to meet all of her family and she got to meet mine! J It’s so nice to have another single female here around my age that I can talk and share life with. She’s much more courageous than me though – she’s here in Zambia indefinitely now! I know God’s going to do amazing things through her.
Anyways, moving on… Here the school system has students go to school for three months, break for one month, go to school for three months, etc. So they break around the beginning of December. They also start a new grade level in January and graduate in December. They find it funny that we, in America, graduate in June and start in September. J Anyway, December 1st ended up being the last time everyone could meet together so I did a joint last session for 11A and 11B. They really liked the sweets I brought for my birthday so I told them I would bring food so we could have a party to celebrate finishing the course. Like clockwork the Cruiser broke down so it put a little bit of a kink in my plan. I had wanted to take them coke, chicken, brownies, and fudge, but if I had to go on my bike I didn’t know how I was going to transport everything! I also had made each girl a heart out of cardstock and wrote part of I Cor 7:34, “Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” I want them to know just what an amazing gift each of them are in themselves – not because of some boy they are going with – but simply because God created them each as masterpieces in HIS image! Thankfully some of the girls from Oklahoma that are here for a year were in town so they picked me and my bike up on the way out so I would only have to bike home. Biking home I could manage because that I’d only have the empty containers. J
It was an awesome last session with the girls. They seem to really have learned and even more importantly applied the purity concepts to their lives. We had a great time discussing how to date and court in ways that please God. I had been asking them to consider if any of them would like to teach with me the next term. Like everything else I do here I want this purity teaching to be reproducible…that the girls which understand and believe in the material would then teach it to other girls so that more and more may experience the freedom and love that God designed for each of us. I was hoping for at least a couple of them to want to teach with me. They blew me away! Out of the 35 girls I had 15 of them wrote their names and phone numbers down as they all wanted to help me teach. I felt overwhelmed – in a good way. I could see some of what I had been teaching them making a difference in them as they’d furiously scribble down different things I said, but I had really didn’t know the extent to which the class had meant to them. There was just a sense of freedom about these girls – that they can be different – that they can tell boys no – that they know the priceless value that God sees in each of them. And I know that it isn’t because I’m some great teacher or that I had come up with awesome concepts. It’s nothing of my doing. It is completely God. Who am I to teach on these things, which even I didn’t do growing up? Who am I to tell these girls to wait? No, it’s not because I am some good person with good ideas, but rather it is God choosing to use a broken vessel such as myself in ways that I could not even fathom. Certainly God is good! Scratch that – God is AWESOME! I pray for these girls that they will continue to walk in freedom and purity – that Satan would ensnare them again in the traps of this world and human love, but that they would remember God set them free and that the love He has planned for each of them blows anything Satan can come up with out of the water! Now I have no idea how I’m going to have all these girls help me teach next term, but I know God will help me figure out a way. I have a feeling that some just want to know they can still hang out with me and I would love that so much… so next term I’ll start by meeting with these girls to figure out who really wants to help teach and who wants to just make sure I’ll still be their friend. I’m nervous for their month at home, but I know that God is bigger, stronger, and better than I am and He is with them wherever they go. When they get back I hope I will be able to find time to hang out with them all. It’s just hard being a 30-40 minute bike ride away and with the rainy season setting in biking becomes just that much more of an adventure! I could walk, but I’m sure Paul and my Dad would not really be fond of that idea. We’ll have to see how God works when the girls come back in January.
Moving on to December… man I am way, way far behind on blogging. I’m sorry everyone! You’ll understand why shortly – not that I’m trying to make excuses… but yea.
Okay, in the beginning of December there was the National Youth Leadership Convention in Lusaka. After spending the week in Choma for the National Youth Convention, the national leadership for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Church youth asked me to come to the youth leadership convention in December. Yes, they were planning ahead! So I graciously agreed. Now, remember the youth ministry here is considered age 12 to about age 35!!! Can you imagine? I thought having 7th and 8th grade in one ministry was hard some days! Never again! So yes, my Sunday school and Bible study teachings here in Kalomo is for an audience of boys and girls from age 12 to 35. Ha! Anyway, I hadn’t heard much from the national office so I started to email and call Given Muleya (he’s the National Director for the Pilgrim Wesleyan Youth). We got everything sorted out and they asked me to teach on mobilizing youth for evangelism. I was pretty stoked as being leaders among the youth one of the most important things is to learn the whys and how to-s of evangelism.
I started to talk with the chairman of our local church’s youth about who was going from our church. We put the invitation out to our youth and had about twenty or so want to go. Then, they realized that Mike Jones was in America and since he always provided transportation they had no idea how they were going to get to Lusaka. It’s 70,000 Kwacha (about $15) to take the 5 hr bus ride one way to Lusaka and the entry fee for the conference was 50,000 Kwacha (about $11). Most of the youth said they could come up with the 50,000, but adding another 140,000 on top of that for round trip transportation would just be too much. After consulting my budget I realized I had a lot of travel support money that I was not going to use during my time here. After talking it over with several people we made the decision that, to invest in the students who have shown leadership potential by helping them travel to the convention in Lusaka would be a worthwhile use of my travel money. The way we presented it to the youth was that if I helped them with transport then they had to attend every session. If they missed a session without a good reason they would owe me 140,000 Kwacha… quite the incentive not to miss! J The other deal was that they had to have their money into me on the Sunday before the convention, which started on Tuesday, December 8th. I was hoping to teach them the importance of organization, keeping good records, and planning ahead. The result was awesome! We took 20 youth to Lusaka for the week while the total attendance for the convention was 60. Yes, we were 1/3 of the total attendees. It made a great statement to the national leaders and even more so when our youths attended every session. I was so proud of our youths and saw that they really got a lot from all the different sessions. I am hoping that they will apply all that they learned to not only their church activities, but in every area of their lives.
They did a couple of different things at the convention, which I really liked. They were much more organized than in Choma, so much so that they were able to make up certificates for every youth who attended the convention while we were still there! Zambians LOVE certificates and if you look at my pictures on Facebook you’ll see just how excited they were to get a certificate. When they go for college or a job they will take EVERY certificate they’ve ever gotten with them to show that they have already done good things and have great potential as a student or employee. It’s funny how small things like a certificate in our eyes is such a big deal to them here.
The second thing they did was to break the group up into small groups to discuss and apply what was being taught to a hypothetical situation. Now, this was a little rough at first and because there wasn’t clear communication from the beginning, the groups started off rocky. However, by the end of the week the groups really grasped what they were suppose to be doing and I caught a sense of ownership amongst the majority of the youths attending. What they were being taught as a big group in theoretical terms they were able to immediately afterwards apply to their hypothetical situations amongst their small groups. They were actually working through the steps and problems and possibilities instead of just sitting and listening to someone else explain how it should be done. I was so excited for the youths. To see them actually working through it on their own instead of just listening and writing what someone else was telling them – well it was awesome! They came up with their own questions and challenged each other to all participate. I feel like they got so much more out of the week than if they had been sitting and writing notes the teacher was telling them to write down. It is encouraging to me that the youth ministry is critically thinking through how to best train this next generation and that they are content with just leaving it the way it’s always been.
It’s scary to make change here or to even make decisions for that matter because here if a decision you make doesn’t work out well it’s not just considered embarrassing to yourself. Here, it also means that you have brought shame to your family and tribe as well! That’s a lot of pressure to make decisions that work out right every time. One of the ways I’ve learned the most is when something I’ve planned or decided does not work out… we learn from the good and the bad. Here, Zambians are so scared of the bad that they don’t want to be the one to make the decision and I understand. I hope that through seeing my decisions turn out not always so good that they will have the courage to make decisions themselves as they have seen how God works through even the really bad decisions to bring Him glory if we let Him.
When it came time for me to speak on evangelism all the youths were attentive. Now it could be because I’m a white girl from America or (more likely) because I brought cookies, which they call biscuits, for those who answered questions. Cookies are always a big hit – no matter what country you’re in and I’d probably guess no matter what age your audience is either! J I did not want to give them a step by step of how to evangelize because I’m not Zambian. Things are different in their culture and as much as I have learned about their culture, I know there is so much more I need to learn as well as some cultural things that I just won’t understand. I decided to focus my talk on why we are called to evangelize and which way I feel is most effective/Biblical. I love discipleship because Jesus talked about it so much and lived it with disciples (Hello! Disciple! Any clearer explanation needed really??) and because of my personal experiences being a disciple and a discipler. The time flew by and I know that it is only because God was with me and speaking through me. I encouraged the youths to see the time as more of a discussion so if they had questions or ideas to feel free to share them so that we might all learn and grow together. One of my favorite contributions came from a guy who pointed out to us that the word GOSPEL is in John 3:16. I loved it! I had never seen it before. It’s there though! “For God so love the world that He gave His one and Only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not Perish, but have Eternal Life.” (John 3:16 NIV) The students were encouraged to have someone share with them why it is important to evangelize and why evangelism is not just getting them to say they believe in Jesus, but that the second half of evangelism – of training them as a disciple, to walk in God in every area of his/her life, everyday – is just as important. Jesus last command is to be our first concern. He did not say to go and make converts. He said to go and make DISCIPLES!
It was an encouraging, but draining week. I learned a lot from seeing the youths interact in small groups and was excited about the potential I saw in so many to be great leaders in the church! I pray that they each do not wait until they are “adults” to start being leaders in the church because God certainly has some AMAZING plans for them now if they will give it all to Him who gives each of us true life.
One last story for the week is about a girl named Kasamba. On Saturday night we were having our final evening service. One of our girls from Kalomo was not there and no one seemed to know where she had gone off to. I was worried as she is quite attractive and very independent. She has amazing potential, but Satan definitely knows this and pulls hard on her life. Anyway, she showed back up and she had gone to the store to run errands with the director and national leaders. I was glad she was fine, but was frustrated that she had not told me where she was going to. She apologized and went inside while I wrapped up a conversation with another youth outside as the service had already started. Apparently she felt pretty bad about making me worried and came back out to apologize. That’s when I saw Kasamba talking with another guy who was attending the conference. She looked upset and I kept my eye on them to make sure he was not the one making her upset or uncomfortable. Well, the guy ended up inviting us over to pray with him for Kasamba. As he finished praying the girl from Kalomo who’d come out to apologize to me told me I needed to take Kasamba and talk with her and get her to open up. I had already felt this prompting by the Holy Spirit, but was glad that my girl had also seen the need and felt that I should be the one to talk to Kasamba since I had been helping the girl from Kalomo these past 6 months already. I asked Kasamba if we could go talk and she agreed. She couldn’t look me in the eye and wouldn’t really answer any question I asked her about what was going on. I asked her to look at me and told her I knew what she was going through – I could see myself when I was 19, 20, 21 in her eyes. I knew she was struggling with the same things that I had battled through. I briefly shared my story and as I did she started to just break down. I know it was God that gave me the right words to share my story in the way that it came out and then she was finally able to open up – to share about her life, her behaviors, and her heart. So much pain bottled up for so long, hidden from so many people finally started to spill out. We spent the entire evening service talking and making a plan for how she wanted to change her life moving forward from this night on. I would love you all to pray for Kasamba. It is not an easy road ahead and I fear that without strong Christian girl friends around that she will have a hard time sticking to this change at first. I know that she desperately wants it and that she hates her sin bad enough to fight for her life to be different. I know God is way more powerful than Satan will ever be and that He loves her beyond her wildest dreams. Please pray that she will find safety and strength in Him – that she will look to Christ for that unconditional love she craves. I wish I could’ve brought her back to Kalomo with me and given her a safe place to start over, but I’m just not able to. I am trusting that God will protect her and guide her though to the right people in Lusaka.
Coming home from the conference my body seemed to just quit on me. I was exhausted. I worked on curriculum writing for the upcoming Jan-Mar school term as well as Bible Study sessions and Sunday School series, but other than that slept a lot. After about a week I also started to get wicked bad headaches – pretty much migraine level stuff. This shut me down pretty much until the end of January. It was a long month and a half. I couldn’t get out of bed without feel woozy. I didn’t have an appetite. I could only look at the computer for maybe 30 minutes before my headache would be raging again, so my curriculum writing was very very slow in developing. This is how I got so far behind in this blog and everything else. The little things still got done, but all the big projects kept having to be put off because I literally could not do them with the crazy headaches I was experiencing. I was pretty much bedridden from the middle of December until February. I thought it was maybe stress or muscle tension in my back or allergies – and those might contribute to them somewhat, but as I spent time away from the house my headache would lessen in intensity most times. As I think back on it I did feel a difference at the house. I thought maybe it was just my own frustrations or loneliness, but we have found out that people living nearby practice witchcraft. I know for certain that the spiritual warfare going on has absolutely contributed to my headaches. It’s hard even here in Zambia sometimes to think about it and believe it’s deep effects – even after seeing demon-possessed people. I know it’s real, but somehow I got to feeling like it couldn’t affect me. Hello, Abbie! I wanted so much to believe it was something within my own control. So after slowly waking up to the blatant fact that it was definitely at least partly spiritual warfare, I have had more good days than bad days as it has changed the way I pray and what I pray about. I try not to let Satan scare me over the topic or to feel inadequate as that’s exactly what Satan wants. I’ve really just focused on trusting in Christ to hold me safely in His arms of love, protection, and grace – to allow Him to be the one to touch me and take away the pain in my head so that I can do what He’s called me to do here in Zambia. The hardest thing is to not let me beat myself up over taking so long to realize it was Satan attacking me because of the work I’m doing for Christ here in Zambia. It’s been good to grow and learn more – definitely harder than learning from other people’s lives.
In the midst of this time – January 20th to be exact – I got robbed!!! The Murphys were in Zimbabwe on holiday so I had the house to myself. I was excited because I was going to finally be able to paint the girls and Isaiah’s rooms. The color on the walls when we moved in was this dingy yellow color that got dirty very easily. I painted the girls room a bright pink and Isaiah got a somewhat deep blue. Both turned out great. Anyway, back to being robbed… (I took the following from my email instead of writing it all over again)
“This afternoon I got robbed here at our house. I am painting the kids rooms while the Murphy family is in Zimbabwe for a week. I came out to wash my hands and saw two boys ducking below our kitchen window. I thought they wanted something like school fees, but as I said hello they started to run... The one boy had my backpack on and the other was carrying a big zambian bag we use when we go grocery shopping and our cooking oil! I glanced at the table and realized my computer and wallet were GONE! I chased after them but was in bare feet and when I got to our back exit out of our yard I had no idea which way they went so I came back in and called the Jones who got the police and came right over. The followed some leads that our one neighbor up the road gave them... He said he'd seen them running through his field the way towards Namwianga. So the police went to all their contacts and put the word out to be looking for a black laptop with a white apple logo on the top of it. They didn't take the charger and it's password locked so they can't even get into it at all. They looked like school age boys... maybe grade 8 or 9 or 10. So basically everyone in Kalomo and Namwianga has been told that we know and are looking. Our friend and security guard supervisor, Azzie, came over as he knows how to track people by shoe prints. He went out the back way and returned a couple minutes later with my wallet - WITH all the identification papers in it - praise God! But my computer and backpack they can't find. I think I found the boys shortly after they had got here because they only got some sugar and the cooking oil... they could have made off with so much more. They also left an umbrella and one of them left their shoes. So the police collected those to see if anyone shoes up to claim them. All the computer places around have been notified so they'll be on the lookout for anyone bringing in a computer fitting the description. I'm just thankful to have my papers back. It's kind of scary though cuz I could've been really hurt if they'd decided to attack me. And if I hadn't come out to wash my hands when I did they could've cleaned out the entire side of the house. So yea... one of my friends is staying with me here at the house for the night and our two night guards are aware of the situation. I'm just really frustrated about the computer.. I know it's just a thing, but it has all my work since I've been here on it and pictures and everything.. most my pictures are on facebook and curriculum printed, but there are things on there that I can't recover if the computer's not found. But any and all prayers would be extremely appreciated.”
Then on Friday the police called me in the morning and asked me to come down to the station cuz they had one of the boys and he was going to show us where they had taken everything they had stolen. Again this is from my email that I sent out the day everything was found: “This morning the police took him with me and Mike Jones in Mike Jones' truck to the compound where he stays. Long story short, two hours and many, many houses later, the police had apprehended the boy's mother, wife, and the wife of one of the other boys. (Yes they marry very young here sometimes.) They found that these boys have been stealing from many people over a long period of time. Praise the Lord that they found my backpack and my computer!!! And it still works!!!! They also found a few of the other small things, but the food items are obviously gone. I had not realized it, but they also stole my camera, which was on the boy when they apprehended him last night. That is how they realized he was one of the ones that robbed me. They made him come to our house and point to where everything had been that they stole. As he pointed they had me take pictures of him. Then we printed out those pictures along with the 90 or so pictures of the things they'd stolen from me and other people. So they have ample evidence when they go to court! Apparently they have been searching for these boys for awhile as they have been stealing here and maybe even in Livingstone for some time now. Thank you for all your prayers. I would ask you would pray that the police will be able to catch the other two boys and that all of them and their families will come to know Jesus as their personal Savior.”
That was the most eventful thing in the course of January pretty much. I taught Bible Study and Sunday School for youths every week, but other than that spent most of my time in bed. As February rolled around I started to feel better… or maybe it was just that my body couldn’t take much more of bed rest!
Either way I started to be able to get back more into the swing of things. I started teaching at Namwianga secondary school with the new grade 11 girls. Rob started teaching the grade 11 guys the curriculum I wrote. I love teaching and hope I have opportunities to teach this curriculum to girls and guys back in the States because I do believe it’s so important that they hear the truth and learn how to fight for their purity. I’m excited to be coming home in April, but I feel weird. This is the first time since I was 12 that I have no idea how to answer the question “what do you want to do in life?” …I mean I know I’m coming home to family, friends, and in September I’ll marry Paul, but as far as a job, friends, and other life stuff like that I just have no idea what it is I’m suppose to do. I can babysit again or get a retail job or work for Paul… but I just have this fear like it’s not going to be fulfilling… I’m probably just overanalyzing it and I know I need to just trust God and that He’ll reveal His perfect plan in his timing. It’s just hard.
From February 10th to the 17th I went to live in the bush with Jenny, Jako, Amber, and baby Jakob. Jako and Amber are a married couple who built an orphanage called Mission of Love Orphanage way out in the bush. Jenny came last year for a few months, fell in love with Zambia and Mission of Love, and moved out here permanently. Jenny and I have been getting to be great friends mainly through a talk book… yes like what all girls did in middle school and high school… where you have one notebook that you pass back and forth so teachers can’t tell you’re passing notes instead of paying attention in class. J Since Jenny’s time in town is very limited because they only come to town to get supplies – we started a talk book. It’s been awesome to have another single female around my age who is also living with a married couple with kids (or a new baby in Jako and Amber’s case) to talk with. Anyway, I haven’t taken a vacation in my entire time here in Africa and I wanted Jenny to come with me. Jako’s deal was that I had to come out to the bush to help them for a bit before he’d let Jenny go on vacation with me. So I cleared my schedule – aka handed all my teaching responsibilities off to Rob along with outlines, notes, rosters, and books – and headed out to the bush for a week. I loved it out there! It was so peaceful and I felt like an equal part of their team/family out there from the first day onwards. Jenny and I painted doorframes, window sills, window frames (inside and out), burglar bars, and half of the floor. We stopped painting the floor because the cement needs to apparently go through a dry season before you paint. Otherwise, as we learned, the paint will just peal up no matter how long you wait to walk on it. L It took us from Thursday until Tuesday to paint everything, but it was fun because Jenny and I had each other to talk to!
I also got to help make dinners, make the donkey (blue drum filled with water that you make hot by building a fire under it), help take care of baby Jakob, and see the orphanage open to their first 8 kids. It was an incredible week. I loved being such a help to them and learning how they run things out in the bush. They are all amazing people and I pray that I will be able to stay close with them after I come back to the States. They are incredibly patient and walk daily in following what God has called them to do. I am so thankful that God brought Jenny into my life. We haven’t gotten to see each other a lot, but just knowing that I will see her every other week or so has been such a blessing I think for both of us! I didn’t think I’d find a best friend out here in Zambia… especially not one also from America. God’s funny like that though! J
So the following week (the 20th to 26th) Jenny and I actually got to go on vacation to Botswana! We booked at the Chobe Safari Lodge, which is just right outside the Chobe National Park in Botswana where they say the biggest number of elephants exist! We got transport from Livingstone to the border, got on a speed boat to cross the river, and then a safari vehicle drove us to the lodge. It was AMAZING! Absolutely beautiful and peaceful. It’s low season so there were only a few other people around – mainly elderly Europeans! Jenny and I definitely stuck out. We were almost in culture shock from pretty much coming out of the bush to going to a luxury lodge! Jenny and I both fell in love with our beds and pillows – imagine sleeping on the ground or a foam mattress for 10 months and then laying on a REAL bed WITH a box spring! Incredible – absolutely incredible! We had a bathtub AND shower and our own balcony. I didn’t realize until I went on vacation how much I needed to just get away and relax. We were in bed by 9:30 almost every night I think. We went on a morning safari drive where we saw all kinds of birds, monkeys, buffalo, antelope, water bucks, kudos, giraffes, crocodiles, hippos, jackals, elephants, and even 3 lions! It was awesome, but definitely required a nap after getting back to the lodge as it was the early, early morning safari drive. We also had an afternoon boat cruise where we saw hundreds of hippos and elephants! Seriously, I lost count of how many we saw. On our boat cruise we also saw water monitor lizards, crocodiles, and an insane number of birds! The guides apparently have to study all the animals in Botswana, take an exam, and pass with an 80% or better before they are allowed to be a guide! They were incredibly knowledgeable about all kinds of animals and plants along our safaris! We also took a day to get massages and pedicures. It was so needed and definitely worthwhile. We ate about one meal a day at the lodge and decided we could find cheaper food that we were more use to down the road 2 minutes at the local grocery store! Jenny and I were both amazed at the selection of different kinds of food and even liquid fabric softener that they had! We probably seemed really silly to the local Botswana people doing their normal shopping as we ooh and aah-ed over the cream cheese, sour cream, choices of cereal, fresh milk, chip selection, pasta choices, and everything else they had! We basically had a picnic every day in our room! It was awesome and definitely saved us money over going to the buffet deal they had for every meal. I was so thankful for a week to just relax and to hang out with Jenny. She has been an amazing support and sounding board when I have needed just another person’s advice or simply someone to tell me I’m not going crazy. She has said I’ve been the same for her, which I have loved doing.
I came back feeling refreshed and ready to tackle my last month here in Zambia. I’m kind of nervous that I’ll forget something or not do something I should, but I know God has it all in control. If I just continue to lean on Him and look to Him for guidance I know I’ll do all He has planned for my time here. It’s getting harder and harder seeing the babies at Namwianga though. They’re gotten so big from when we first got here in May. I wish I could bring them all, especially Sam, home with me.
It’s going to be hard to say goodbye – not just to them, but to everyone. I preached my last main message at church this past Sunday. We’ve started a new series entitled Being Transformed by Jesus Christ. I focused my message on transformation of the heart. I think it went well and several people have said that it was very moving to them. I guess most of them didn’t know I was leaving in April so they were surprised when I told them I was leaving them soon. It was hard to tell them, but I don’t want them to be shocked when I do leave and I definitely don’t want them to think I’m leaving because I don’t want to be here. We’ll see what God does in the future. I’d love to come back, but there are a lot of things that need to be figured out before that will happen. I know Paul liked his time here too and feels his work here isn’t finished yet, so at least I have that going for me that he wants to come back too. I pray that this month I will really just finish strong in my programs and relationships that I have established and built up during the past year. I know that I am a very different woman because of my time here and I am excited (and nervous/anxious sort of at the same time) to see how God is going to use me once I come back to the States.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
World AIDS Day
Today is World AIDS Day and I think for the first time it really means something to me. Sure I would see the news articles about it before and the concerts and events they'd have to fund raise for it, but outside of that it didn't really impact me.
Today my heart breaks for I've seen the babies and adults that AIDS is killing. They are no longer just faces on some website, television commercial, brochure, or anything else. They are actually human beings. I know their names. I know what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. I've held these babies in my arms and rocked them to sleep or tried to get them to keep down even just a little bit of a bottle. AIDS is no longer just about the statistics to me - it's about friends I have, it's about little precious creations that God designed and loves, it's about families being destroyed and children left without any parents. And yet the resources are sometimes just not here. We've made medicines that can help anyone live a much longer, healthier life - but the education and availability sometimes just isn't here. People are still afraid of the stigma. The doctors and nurses don't always give the medicine because of supply. The tests don't come back accurate much of the time. So today my heart breaks.
Today my heart also has hope. There are improvements being made here - people are living longer and healthier - kids are being given the chance at life even when they are HIV positive. Dow is one of those little precious creations. When we first got here he was in really bad shape.
(This is Dow in June I believe)
He just didn't look like he was going to make it. Praise the LORD though that his little body responded so well to the medicines and today he is a BIG boy.
(This is Dow almost two weeks ago)
I love going to see him every week at Namwianga - to see him as he grows stronger and stronger. So there is hope. God knows each of these precious creations - young and old - that are HIV positive... and I know His heart breaks. Will your heart break for this horrible evil that is taking so many lives? It doesn't have to be this way. When will we wake up and let our hearts break? What will it take for you for the statistics to become more than just numbers on a page, but a tear stained face of a person dying? For me it took coming here to Zambia. Maybe it will for you too?
Today my heart breaks for I've seen the babies and adults that AIDS is killing. They are no longer just faces on some website, television commercial, brochure, or anything else. They are actually human beings. I know their names. I know what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. I've held these babies in my arms and rocked them to sleep or tried to get them to keep down even just a little bit of a bottle. AIDS is no longer just about the statistics to me - it's about friends I have, it's about little precious creations that God designed and loves, it's about families being destroyed and children left without any parents. And yet the resources are sometimes just not here. We've made medicines that can help anyone live a much longer, healthier life - but the education and availability sometimes just isn't here. People are still afraid of the stigma. The doctors and nurses don't always give the medicine because of supply. The tests don't come back accurate much of the time. So today my heart breaks.
Today my heart also has hope. There are improvements being made here - people are living longer and healthier - kids are being given the chance at life even when they are HIV positive. Dow is one of those little precious creations. When we first got here he was in really bad shape.
(This is Dow in June I believe)
He just didn't look like he was going to make it. Praise the LORD though that his little body responded so well to the medicines and today he is a BIG boy.
(This is Dow almost two weeks ago)
I love going to see him every week at Namwianga - to see him as he grows stronger and stronger. So there is hope. God knows each of these precious creations - young and old - that are HIV positive... and I know His heart breaks. Will your heart break for this horrible evil that is taking so many lives? It doesn't have to be this way. When will we wake up and let our hearts break? What will it take for you for the statistics to become more than just numbers on a page, but a tear stained face of a person dying? For me it took coming here to Zambia. Maybe it will for you too?
Monday, November 23, 2009
November is almost over?
Hi everyone!
I can't believe November is almost over. Well there's one more week, but it feels like time is just flying by.
I'm still teaching at Namwianga twice a week and the girls seem to really be embracing and understanding what I am teaching them. I pray that they will guard their hearts with all their might and trust the God will bring them the right man at the right time. I'm not just teaching against our human temptation to sin sexually, but also how the culture here in Zambia has been for a long time. Teaching them that is it okay and even good to say no seems to be so freeing to them. :) I love it.
My Sunday school class is also flourishing. The other week we had 80, yes EIGHTY, youths there! Now granted youths here are from age 11 or 12 up to age 35 so that increases the percentage of the church population that I get for Sunday school. :) We are studying Hebrews 11 looking at why the men listed in it were men of great faith. Every week we review all the people we've already learned about so that it helps stick with them more than just on one Sunday morning. I have them ask two questions every week to themselves. The first is what will I be remembered for? When I leave this place (Kalomo in their case), what will people remember me for? The second question then is, "Will I be remembered for my faith?" I have them simplify the people we look at down to one thing that they are remembered for. I am trying to help show them that what they do now, who they are now will have a great impact on their future. Who are they choosing to be now and how do people remember them? They seem very attentive for the most part and are getting more use to answering questions so it's definitely an encouragement to me.
My Saturday afternoon youth Bible Study at the church is still on the smaller size. I like it though because I feel like I am getting to know those who are coming better. I usually print something off for them so they can take notes/answer questions/fill it out and they seem to really like that. :) The church keeps trying to lecture the youth into coming on Saturday. I don't know that if I got yelled at every week I would really feel like coming either. I am trying to encourage the ones I do see in town during the week to come on Saturday and it seems those I meet with personally are more committed to also coming on Saturday.
Mutali and I are still meeting weekly for discipleship. She is very bright and starting to see that God has unique, special plans just for her - even as she is here in Kalomo studying to take her grade 12 exams again. It's an inbetween stage that many youth struggle in. They finish school, but want to get better grades on their grade 12 exam so they can get into the university they want to, in the major they want to - so they study for a year and take the tests they want to again. But then it's another YEAR before they get the results back so there's this year or two where they don't really have any focus. It's really hard for a lot of them to apparently get back on track because they spend a year or two just sitting around and then it's hard to get back into being a full time student or working full time again. They definitely need all of our prayers that God would use their unique abundance of time to get involved in the things He wants them to.
I am also starting to meet with another young lady, Memory. We have just started to hang out, but she also is very quick. :) I am excited to get to know her more and to possibly have the honor of discipling her.
Other than that I have been getting more into my artwork again. I am currently working on a mural that's an entire length of one of the walls in my room. I'm really liking how it's turning out. I feel so blessed to have time again to do these kinds of things and it makes me thankful so much more for how God has lavished blessings into me. I certainly don't feel that I deserve the gifts He's entrusted me with. I pray that I will be faithful to finding how He wants me to use them every day.
Well I should get going. I have some finance work to do. I wanted to get this out and up though as it seems my blog lost my last blog from the other week. I miss you and love you all! As much as I am enjoying my time here I am excited to coming home to all of you! Please pray that I would know when exactly I should come home. I'm tossing around some different possibilities, but really just want to know what God wants me to do. Okay, for real, I'm going now. I have loved all your encouragements, questions, and stories. They help me feel more connected to home. I pray you are all doing wonderfully and gearing up for the holidays with an expectation for God to show up in the midst of them! Because if we look for Him we'll be surprised how much He plans little things just to show us how much He loves us.
By God's Grace & For His Glory,
Abbie Morehead
P.S. There's a bunch more pictures on Facebook of all my adventures here in Zambia! If you don't have Facebook and want to see them, either ask your kids to let you on theirs ;) or let me know and I will try to get them up on another site as well.
I can't believe November is almost over. Well there's one more week, but it feels like time is just flying by.
I'm still teaching at Namwianga twice a week and the girls seem to really be embracing and understanding what I am teaching them. I pray that they will guard their hearts with all their might and trust the God will bring them the right man at the right time. I'm not just teaching against our human temptation to sin sexually, but also how the culture here in Zambia has been for a long time. Teaching them that is it okay and even good to say no seems to be so freeing to them. :) I love it.
My Sunday school class is also flourishing. The other week we had 80, yes EIGHTY, youths there! Now granted youths here are from age 11 or 12 up to age 35 so that increases the percentage of the church population that I get for Sunday school. :) We are studying Hebrews 11 looking at why the men listed in it were men of great faith. Every week we review all the people we've already learned about so that it helps stick with them more than just on one Sunday morning. I have them ask two questions every week to themselves. The first is what will I be remembered for? When I leave this place (Kalomo in their case), what will people remember me for? The second question then is, "Will I be remembered for my faith?" I have them simplify the people we look at down to one thing that they are remembered for. I am trying to help show them that what they do now, who they are now will have a great impact on their future. Who are they choosing to be now and how do people remember them? They seem very attentive for the most part and are getting more use to answering questions so it's definitely an encouragement to me.
My Saturday afternoon youth Bible Study at the church is still on the smaller size. I like it though because I feel like I am getting to know those who are coming better. I usually print something off for them so they can take notes/answer questions/fill it out and they seem to really like that. :) The church keeps trying to lecture the youth into coming on Saturday. I don't know that if I got yelled at every week I would really feel like coming either. I am trying to encourage the ones I do see in town during the week to come on Saturday and it seems those I meet with personally are more committed to also coming on Saturday.
Mutali and I are still meeting weekly for discipleship. She is very bright and starting to see that God has unique, special plans just for her - even as she is here in Kalomo studying to take her grade 12 exams again. It's an inbetween stage that many youth struggle in. They finish school, but want to get better grades on their grade 12 exam so they can get into the university they want to, in the major they want to - so they study for a year and take the tests they want to again. But then it's another YEAR before they get the results back so there's this year or two where they don't really have any focus. It's really hard for a lot of them to apparently get back on track because they spend a year or two just sitting around and then it's hard to get back into being a full time student or working full time again. They definitely need all of our prayers that God would use their unique abundance of time to get involved in the things He wants them to.
I am also starting to meet with another young lady, Memory. We have just started to hang out, but she also is very quick. :) I am excited to get to know her more and to possibly have the honor of discipling her.
Other than that I have been getting more into my artwork again. I am currently working on a mural that's an entire length of one of the walls in my room. I'm really liking how it's turning out. I feel so blessed to have time again to do these kinds of things and it makes me thankful so much more for how God has lavished blessings into me. I certainly don't feel that I deserve the gifts He's entrusted me with. I pray that I will be faithful to finding how He wants me to use them every day.
Well I should get going. I have some finance work to do. I wanted to get this out and up though as it seems my blog lost my last blog from the other week. I miss you and love you all! As much as I am enjoying my time here I am excited to coming home to all of you! Please pray that I would know when exactly I should come home. I'm tossing around some different possibilities, but really just want to know what God wants me to do. Okay, for real, I'm going now. I have loved all your encouragements, questions, and stories. They help me feel more connected to home. I pray you are all doing wonderfully and gearing up for the holidays with an expectation for God to show up in the midst of them! Because if we look for Him we'll be surprised how much He plans little things just to show us how much He loves us.
By God's Grace & For His Glory,
Abbie Morehead
P.S. There's a bunch more pictures on Facebook of all my adventures here in Zambia! If you don't have Facebook and want to see them, either ask your kids to let you on theirs ;) or let me know and I will try to get them up on another site as well.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
November 5, 2009
I've found a god groove in my work. I know I've found a good groove when it doesn't feel like I'm working that much, but my weekly work hours report says I'm putting in over fifty hours per week.
Teaching at Namwianga is still proving to be a challenge, but the girls are really just soaking it in so I do feel this is where I'm suppose to be. They cancel classes and change the schedule so much, but don't find it necessary to tell me. In some ways I'm upset, but on the flip side it allows me to just show and say I'm going to meet with my girls at the normal time... I think have a schedule is just so important for communicating the importance of what's being taught and at the same time teaching the students responsibility for following a schedule. So I continue to show up and they continue to say okay, we'll go get the girls and tell them they're still meeting with you. :)
I know that Satan does NOT want me to share the truth with these girls - he desperately doesn't want them to be free and to know the love they crave can only be found in God. God loves each of them so so much and has plans for each of them. I know that I am making Satan angry by sharing about sexual purity with these girls because they are being empowered to stand up against the sexual sin that has weaseled it's way into the Zambian culture.
Even though the lack of organization and communication on the administrative level at the school astonishes me, I know that I just need to be faithful to what god has called me to do and that He will take care of the rest. I want to be more prayerful too over these girls. I want them to be covered in prayer, but I know the will only happen if I take the initiative to pray for hem. Even here I find myself getting "busy" with tasks... getting things done which I have something tangible to show for. Prayer is hard for me because I don't have anything tangible to show for it most times. Yes, God answers prayers and His provisions daily I know are answers to prayer, but other things like writing curriculum, working out, making journals for girls, going and meeting with people... those things others see as works I am doing. But I know that those things - those tasks - should not be my focus. Relationships and my relationship with Christ should be first priority. It's easy to get caught up in the tasks because pretty much everything we do here is considered missions work. I've lately just been convicted to be in prayer much more than I am... to make it the way of my life - not just part of my life - but that my legacy would be one of prayer. Prayer is such a powerful weapon and God longs to meet with each of us. Will you join me in committing to live a life of prayer? If we do I know we will see so much more that God has planned for us all along!
Teaching at Namwianga is still proving to be a challenge, but the girls are really just soaking it in so I do feel this is where I'm suppose to be. They cancel classes and change the schedule so much, but don't find it necessary to tell me. In some ways I'm upset, but on the flip side it allows me to just show and say I'm going to meet with my girls at the normal time... I think have a schedule is just so important for communicating the importance of what's being taught and at the same time teaching the students responsibility for following a schedule. So I continue to show up and they continue to say okay, we'll go get the girls and tell them they're still meeting with you. :)
I know that Satan does NOT want me to share the truth with these girls - he desperately doesn't want them to be free and to know the love they crave can only be found in God. God loves each of them so so much and has plans for each of them. I know that I am making Satan angry by sharing about sexual purity with these girls because they are being empowered to stand up against the sexual sin that has weaseled it's way into the Zambian culture.
Even though the lack of organization and communication on the administrative level at the school astonishes me, I know that I just need to be faithful to what god has called me to do and that He will take care of the rest. I want to be more prayerful too over these girls. I want them to be covered in prayer, but I know the will only happen if I take the initiative to pray for hem. Even here I find myself getting "busy" with tasks... getting things done which I have something tangible to show for. Prayer is hard for me because I don't have anything tangible to show for it most times. Yes, God answers prayers and His provisions daily I know are answers to prayer, but other things like writing curriculum, working out, making journals for girls, going and meeting with people... those things others see as works I am doing. But I know that those things - those tasks - should not be my focus. Relationships and my relationship with Christ should be first priority. It's easy to get caught up in the tasks because pretty much everything we do here is considered missions work. I've lately just been convicted to be in prayer much more than I am... to make it the way of my life - not just part of my life - but that my legacy would be one of prayer. Prayer is such a powerful weapon and God longs to meet with each of us. Will you join me in committing to live a life of prayer? If we do I know we will see so much more that God has planned for us all along!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Teaching at Namwianga
Happy Friday afternoon! I am just getting back from teaching one of my two classes at Namwianga. I have the 11th grade girls in two sections (11A on Tuesday and 11B on Friday) and am teaching them on sexual purity. I have spent a lot of time working on the curriculum I am now using and this is probably the most nervous I've been teaching for many reasons. The first time I met with them (last week) I just used the time to introduce myself and the class and then gave them time to write any question they had about sexual purity, sex, relationships, marriage, etc. I told them I didn't want them to put their names on their sheet of paper and that I wanted them to spread out around the classroom so they wouldn't worry about their classmates trying to see what they were writing. I told them to fold their paper in half when they were finished and that I would come collect it, but I would not read any of the papers until I got back to my house. I wanted them to feel safe that they could ask anything and not feel like they would be singled out or secrets told to the rest of the class. I was hoping to get at least a couple good questions I could incorporate in my teaching. What I got blew me away. I want to share with you what they wrote, word for word, their own questions and stories. We hear facts all the time, but these girls each I see face to face. They are my classes and real girls with real questions and pasts. Please remember them in your prayers.
Here it is: *WARNING: This is verbatim what they wrote. It may be shocking and language we wouldn't even think of using at a Christian school, but please see it as their young hearts crying out for someone to guide them and help them. Thank you.
-How can I put it? You have a boyfriend and he pressures you into having sex with him. No matter how much you deny him he still won’t let it go and always says that he love you. He tries by all means to sleep with you and says the words “I love you” so convincingly that you end up having sex with him. Do you think that you can become pure again? Because the fact that you slept with someone before marriage haunts you every time and the thought that God won’t forgive you for break the rules haunts you.
Here it is: *WARNING: This is verbatim what they wrote. It may be shocking and language we wouldn't even think of using at a Christian school, but please see it as their young hearts crying out for someone to guide them and help them. Thank you.
-How can I put it? You have a boyfriend and he pressures you into having sex with him. No matter how much you deny him he still won’t let it go and always says that he love you. He tries by all means to sleep with you and says the words “I love you” so convincingly that you end up having sex with him. Do you think that you can become pure again? Because the fact that you slept with someone before marriage haunts you every time and the thought that God won’t forgive you for break the rules haunts you.
-What do you do if you have got a boyfriend with a short temper?
-Is it normal to have a boyfriend who is younger than you but taller than you?
-What must I do if my parents love and trust me but they don’t expect me to have a boyfriend?
-Is it good to have a boyfriend when still in secondary school?
-I have a boyfriend at home. Here at school I am going out with a grade 12 since soon they will be closing. About 10 boys have been coming to me asking me out. What should I do?
-Since I came to this school I have got no close friends and my only friend for real – she is closed to me. She knows everything about my sex/dating life, but I don’t know about hers. Some times she tells me about herself in an indirect manner and she laughs at me about the things I tell her. Should I continue with her or what?
-Boys like touching my body and I have strong feelings for men. What should I do for men to stop doing these bad things to me?
-I had my first boyfriend when I was 13. We were never intimate in any way except that he disliked seeing me with other guys. Our relationship wasn’t the way I expected it to be, though we never broke up. I heard from my friends when I was 14 that he had a new girlfriend. That same year, another boy at my school asked me out and I accepted him. It wasn’t me who accepted, but my cousin accepted on my behalf since they were friends. I got used to him and felt comfortable with him around me and were intimate. We use to kiss and hug a lot. We even bathed together, but we never had sex or touched each other in our private parts. He went out with me for a year. Then, he dumped me and I have no idea why. I never asked him. I do club, listen to music and read the Bible.
-How long do you need to take before saying yes to a guy?
-Is it normal to be single?
-What can you do if you love a guy and he does not propose to you?
-For example, if you are in a relationship, then the guy dumps you when you still love him, what can you do?
-What can you do if the boyfriend is telling you to do things you do not feel like doing? e.g. Like sex and kissing
-Is it right to say yes to a guy you don’t have feelings for if he keeps on troubling you?
-Is it right to have a boyfriend at this age?
-If the boy just loves you for sex, what should you do?
-But some people say, “If you have not done sex at 15 and above years, then during your time when you will be married it will be hard for you to do sex.” How true is that?
-A lot of girls believe that if they cannot have sex then they should masturbate. Is masturbation right before God?
-Is it right to have a boyfriend even when you don’t kiss and have sex?
-At what stage should a girl start to date a guy?
-Is it okay not to have feelings for the opposite sex?
-What can you do if you are sexually abused by someone you trust, for example your dad, and you are so scared to tell anybody?
-My friends have boyfriends, but I don’t have one because I fell I can’t have one, but they pressure me to have a boyfriend.
-What can you do if your boyfriend asks you to have sex all the time you meet and when you refuse he stops talking to you and you love that person so much?
-How can I make him understand that I love him and I want to wait to have sex until after marriage?
-I always ask myself everyday, “What is life without sex?”
-Why is that my friend enjoys life with sex?
-How can I avoid such friends (who enjoy sex) and get my boyfriend to stop telling me about sex?
-What can I do for me to avoid sex?
-Which age is normal for a boy/girl to have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
-Is it allowed to kiss/smooch when you are in a relationship?
-How can you know that the guy you are dating is serious?
-There are sometimes when a guy is deeply in love with you and he trusts you a lot. Then all of a sudden you meet someone else and you are interested in the other one than the first guy. Is it allowed to dump the first one and go to the one you have just met because he is the one you love?
-My boyfriend is not a virgin but I am. He is loving and caring. Sometimes he asks me about sex, like when am I ready to have sex. Recently he asked me whether sex would keep a relationship stronger. I told him no because I had a feeling that’s what he was up to and I’ve seen it with many girls. Once she has sex with her boyfriend he dumps her. Truthfully I sometimes think he wants sex from me. So my question is, is it really sex that he wants or am I just thinking ahead?
-Can God forgive you after having sex because you did not know what you were doing?
-I want to ask this question, a certain friend of mine was forced to abort her pregnancy because it was her elder brother’s pregnancy. Thieves attacked them and forced them to have sex and then she fell pregnant. Will god ever forgive her for accepting to kill the baby?
-Is God able to forgive people who have sex before marriage?
-Can God forgive or punish people who have sex with other married men and then blackmail them saying that it’s their child while it’s not because they are prostitutes?
-What is being impure?
-How does someone become impure?
-What leads people to be impure?
-Is it wrong to watch pornography movies as a Christian at the age of 18 years?
-Is it wrong to have sex at the age of 18 years?
-For example, I have a boyfriend. Is it wrong or is it right for me to kiss him? (smooche)
-I want to ask this: What is the right age of having a boyfriend?
-What is being in purity?
-What are the disadvantages to a person who is in purity and how does it affect him/her? What are the advantages?
-How can a person come closer to God and be a pure Christian?
-Is it wrong when you choose to stop going out with a guy after you have sex, but you stopped when you heard about instructions and good advice? Is it forgiven?
-Is it right to have sex with a guy who is willing to spend his entire life with you?
-What advice can you give to me if I am dating a guy my parents don’t like?
-What can I do in order to stop being friends with boys who make me feel emotionally high each time I see or chat with them?
-What advice can you give me if I am keeping something that affects me seriously from my parents?
-Is it wrong to tell a boy that you like him?
-What are people in a relationship expected to do?
-How can you know that the boyfriend you are dating is given to you by God?
-At what age can God allow someone to be in a relationship?
-What can one do if she likes playing guys and she wants to change?
-Is it right to kiss, but not to have sex in a relationship?
-What can one do if a friend snatched away her boyfriend?
-What can one do if she happened to find out that the boyfriend kissed another girl?
-What can one do to stop her boyfriend from drinking and smoking?
-Is it right to drink when you are depressed?
-How can you tell or prove is a guy really likes or loves you?
-How far should I go with a guy in a relationship with the absence of sex?
-What the most recommendable age for dating?
-Is it right to date a bad boy because you’re hoping he may change in the future?
-How much of my heart am I suppose to give in a relationship in order for me to prevent a heartbreak if all doesn’t go well?
-How can I date a boy my friends do not approve of and still keep my friends around?
-What if you had sex with a guy out of making him love you?
-Is it wrong to like a guy and you know that he likes you too, but not because he wants to have sex with you?
-Is it wrong to be in a relationship when you are still in school?
-What if you love someone and that person is not a Christian? Can you end the relationship or can you try to change him? What if he does not want to change for the better?
-Having sex before marriage is a sin, but some people say practice makes perfect. How can I advise such people?
-What of those who are pregnant before marriage and they abort because of parents?
-What of those who had sex before marriage… are they going to get married in life?
-I started dating my boyfriend some few months ago. People in my neighborhood say he is a sex addict. The problem is that I don’t know what to do when he asks for sex. I love this guy very much and I am afraid of losing him. What should I do?
-When is the right time to have sex?
-Is it a sin to allow a boy or man to touch any part of your body?
-Is it allowed by God to allow a boy or man finger f*** you or giving a boy or man a blow job?
-Is it sin to regret having the features on your body?
-Is it sin to want to be someone else, like maybe something…
-Can you be my playing mum? I have liked you.
-What would I do if I found out that my best friend is dating my boyfriend?
-Is it right for some to be having sex with the guy they do not like?
-If I like someone and that person does not like me, is it right to let go of that person?
-Is it right to have sex with a guy because you love them?
-What would happen to a girl who starts having sex at any early age, like at the age of 12?
-Why do older men rape young girls?
-Is it right for a Christian to, at times, play songs like hip-hop, R&B, and regga?
-Does sex affect any of your sex organs? Can it cause some to have sharp pain in the side?
-Is it right for a girl to tell a boy that she loves him?
-If you see a big girl going after a young boy is it right to tell them that they are not doing the right thing?
-At what age is one person suppose to start dating boys as in according to the Bible?
-Why do people get mentally affected when they have sex at a tender age?
-I love this boy, but the problem is that he has dated my sister before so is it wrong to date someone who has dated your sister?
-How do you know that a guy really loves you?
-Is it wrong to kiss before marriage?
-How true is it that the first time you have sex it hurts?
-How can you avoid falling in love with the wrong person?
-Why is it that most school relationships do not work and most of them just end up in hatred for each other?
-Are there faithful boys in this world or maybe each and every boy is unfaithful (in relationships)?
-Is it wrong to date a man who is like 12 years older than you?
-What can you do if people/friends do not approve of your relationship with the guy you love?
-What can you do if you feel your friends are looking for a girlfriend for your boyfriend?
-What is the whole purpose of having a boyfriend at the age of 18 and below because obviously by then you are not ready to get married?
-What can you do when you fall in love with the same girl (guy?) as your best friend?
-Is it wrong to have a boyfriend?
-If you have sex with your boyfriend when you are still in high school but gets to get married to him, is that a sin that you had sex before marriage?
-Is it right for a girl to ask a guy out?
-Is kissing a sin?
-Why do some people date their cousins and is it wrong?
-Is it true that it’s better to break your virginity when you are still young because it hurts more when you grow up?
-What are the advantages and disadvantages of dating a classmate?
-How can you tell that a guy is just playing with your mind, but pretending to love you?
-What causes fear between two people when they like each other?
-Is it wrong to have three boyfriends at the same time?
-Since most guys play with our minds, is it wrong for us girls to play with their mind as well as dating them for their money?
-Is it wrong to flirt?
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These girls just want someone to be honest with them and to know that God still loves them. It screams so loudly to me - the statistics in Zambia say that 90% of girls will have sex by choice or by force by the age of 14. I think of my girls from BLAST... 90% of them?!? I can't imagine that.. and yet that's the reality these girls live in and men here view it as their right to have sex with whomever, whenever... Zambia is still an animalistic culture. God, please show me how to show these girls Your love and amazing plans for each one of them!
This week I made journals for each of them... well not the journals themselves, but I made a cover for each of them with their name... I made EACH one different... yep 35 different designs! I'm hoping that they will use them to journal their thoughts and questions as we work through this course together. Here are a couple of pictures of the all the journals!
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